Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Bee-worthy Share: Best Job in the World

Not many of us mommies ever grew up dreaming of becoming a mother to a child with complex medical necessities... though I did have a thought one day that since I could not think of one person I knew that had a child with special needs, I must be the "one" that will... and I was ok with that notion. 
Regardless of this premonition, my baby dolls did not ride in wheelchairs with feeding tubes nor did my play house include a pulse ox machine next to the crib or prescription formula bottles stacked up in the pantry. I may not have signed up for this job... but I feel so blessed to have been chosen. I am fairly certain that my special mommy friends would second that emotion, so think twice before you feel sorry for or pity our circumstances... we are perfectly happy with our job description, despite the rollercoaster ride it entails.


I Don’t Remember Signing Up For This Job…Special Needs Mom

Special Needs MomSo how did I get it?

You have this wonderful dream job you had in your mind as you were growing up.
You thought about it, you saw other people doing that job, they loved it and you couldn’t wait to do the same job.
Then one day there is a company that’s offering this dream job,  Special Needs Momyou go stand in line with all the other moms applying for this job.  You hear it’s the best job in the world!  
They hand you the job description and tell you congratulations – you are now a MOM! You are so excited, finally your dream job, the one you prepared for all your life.  You start to go about your job, but then you notice all the other moms, that stood in line for the same dream job aren’t doing the same things you are.  You seem to be doing more then them.  Why? You couldn’t understand why since you all stood in the same line.
Then you look down at your job description and you realize oh my gosh, there is an additional task, aspecial task on your list that isn’t on their’s.  That additional task is entitled … Special Needs Mom.
You wonder what does that mean, I never trained for that.  I have Special Needs Momheard of it, but that’s not the dream job I applied for.
This wasn’t fair!  Then you start to wonder why me, why out of all the women in the line did I get chosen to be a special needs moms?  I want to be like them, I don’t want the special in front of it.
I don’t want all the extra work that comes along with being a special needs mom, like being a therapist, a medical professional, nurse, advocate.
Then I decide to go to the HR Manager to talk about the following:
  • I want to be understood and heard, I don’t want to be isolated when I face my daily challenges or tasks.  I want the other moms, to hear my pain and know my struggles.
  • I want them to understand that  I am doing the best I can to cope with all the demands that are being placed upon me by my child as well as my family.
  • I am also dealing with all the different comments and stares, some of the stares are kind – they smiles, but the rest are looks and shrugs that are tossed my way because my special needs child is in their presence.
  • I want them to know that our daily struggles with a child with special needs are far more amplified then that of what they are experiencing.  The challenges as intense as they may also be prolonged and constant, and every aspect of my families life is affected.
So I look at the HR Manager with tears in my eyes and big lump in my throat and ask “can I find another job, I don’t think I am strong enough to handle this job.”  Then even before the HR Manager could open his mouth, I heard a little whimper, and felt a little wiggle as  Special Needs Mom   I look down at this beautiful innocent face looking up at me.
This amazing child is why God blessed me with this special job, why he gave me this special task of loving him, caring for him, protecting and nurturing him, because I am strong!
So I caught myself and looked up to the HR Manager and just said “thank you for your time and  this wonderful opportunity you have given me.  I am a much better person for having such an amazing job, that of a Special Needs Mom and I wouldn’t change it for the world!”
Part of healing for any mother especially those that care for a child with special needs is the notion of resilience: being knocked down several times, but getting back up each and every time.  Facing the challenges and accepting the reality.  Getting up and recognizing your successes and your growth are all apart of the healing process and will allow you to move forward in your very special job of being aSpecial Needs Mom!
Congratulations you are part of the elite!

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